A breast cancer diagnosis is no longer the end of the world, but it can still certainly feel like it. It’s perfectly normal to go through all the stages of grief while grappling with your diagnosis and long, often unpleasant treatment.
I recently read an article from UCLA Health about Melissa Watkins, a 43-year-old fashionista, and was incredibly moved by her journey. After being diagnosed with breast cancer at 41, Melissa found a unique way to capture her experience of cancer treatment and the grief that accompanied it.
Fashion as expression
Melissa already had a birthday tradition of immortalizing her favorite outfits of the year with a professional photoshoot.
At first, she wanted to completely ignore her cancer journey in her 42nd birthday photoshoot. But a suggestion from the photographer got her thinking.
Would she like to memorialize her health journey in the photos?
Melissa rejected the idea at first, but after some thinking, decided to interpret the five stages of grief through fashion.
“Within like 10 minutes — no lie — I came up with the idea for the whole shoot, pulled out all the clothes, and threw them in a bag,” Melissa said.
She quickly assembled five outfits — denial, bargaining, depression, anger, and acceptance — each complete with jewelry, makeup, and energy.
A breast cancer diagnosis is no longer the end of the world, but it can still certainly feel like it. It’s perfectly normal to go through all the stages of grief while grappling with your diagnosis and long, often unpleasant treatment.
I recently read an article from UCLA Health about Melissa Watkins, a 43-year-old fashionista, and was incredibly moved by her journey. After being diagnosed with breast cancer at 41, Melissa found a unique way to capture her experience of cancer treatment and the grief that accompanied it.
Fashion as expression
Melissa already had a birthday tradition of immortalizing her favorite outfits of the year with a professional photoshoot.
At first, she wanted to completely ignore her cancer journey in her 42nd birthday photoshoot. But a suggestion from the photographer got her thinking.
Would she like to memorialize her health journey in the photos?
Melissa rejected the idea at first, but after some thinking, decided to interpret the five stages of grief through fashion.
“Within like 10 minutes — no lie — I came up with the idea for the whole shoot, pulled out all the clothes, and threw them in a bag,” Melissa said.
She quickly assembled five outfits — denial, bargaining, depression, anger, and acceptance — each complete with jewelry, makeup, and energy.
Sharing grief with the world
After seeing the images from her photoshoot, Melissa knew these wouldn’t be staying private. In March 2023 she put up her first gallery show to share her vision with anyone who has or will experience grief or, in short, everyone.
The day before her exhibit opened, Melissa received terrible news: she had a brain tumor.
But still, the show went on and Melissa continued to fight and share her experience.
For her 43rd birthday photoshoot, she added new outfits to commemorate her brain tumors.
She continues to channel her experience into art and encourages others to embrace their own emotional journeys.
“Some people will say things like, ‘Don’t be sad,’ but it’s OK to be sad,” Melissa said. “Tap into the ways that you can express yourself and have an outlet for the feelings that you’re feeling. Never feel guilty if you’re having joy in the middle of a painful experience, because I know sometimes those feelings come up, too.
“I think it’s about leaning into what you’re feeling and just accepting that for what it is. So you’re in denial? OK, I’m in denial. And I love that about me, because that’s where I am right now. And as you go along, just accept the stages and feelings for what they are.”
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